16 July 2008

Airlines to charge by the pound*?

With airlines working tirelessly to cut weight on planes, how about this for a light hearted look from the USA at what they could do:-

** No more seating on flights under 500 miles.

"Passengers will have a rail to hold on to if turbulence occurs. Ã¢â¬ÅâœThe airline figures the absence of seats will save $9 million in fuel costs a month,Ã¢â¬~ says one airline.

** In another airplane weight reduction plan, United Airlines plans to limit its beer selections to lite beer only and play only light music.

Ã¢â¬ÅâœWe want to be known more as the lightweights of the industry to stretch how far planes can go,Ã¢â¬~ one vice president says.

** Continental will start making customers weigh in when they buy tickets, selling seating by the pound.

Anyone weighing in over 150 pays an extra $10 for each pound.

Ã¢â¬ÅâœYou buy food by the pound and trucks have to weigh in on highways, so why not be fair about airline tickets and have passengers pay according to their weightÃ¢â¬~, one airline spokesman said.

** Jet Blue plans to save gas by keeping its planes on the runway and not taxiing up to terminals.

Passengers unwilling to walk over from the terminal to the plane, warming up to take off, will have to pay a $25 shuttle fee for riding out on a golf cart.

*This is all the facetious future projections of writer David Maril in Enterprisenews.comÃ¢â¬~¦.or it is?

A report by David Wilkening