Cigarettes, chocolate, cocaine? No….
Last time she was raving on about the wonders of World Travel Market and now she’s confessing to a rather stange addiction. We’re still a little bit concerned about our new blogger, Helena Beard…
My name’s Helena, and I’m addicted to Hoseasons.
I’d always associated holidays more closely with St Lucia than St Albans so, when I had kids, it came as a bit of a shock to find myself booking a UK cottage holiday.
Helena just can’t get enough of cottages like this one
Seven years on, my relationship with the great British cottage holiday is similar to that of an addict to her drug of choice. I am slightly embarrassed by it. I hide it from my husband. I rarely speak of it. But I spend most of my spare time thinking about it, searching it out and buying it. And I regularly overstretch myself to afford it (especially when I treat myself to a National Trust property – the purest high and oh so worth it).
But, sadly, getting the fix I crave is rarely easy.
Take this week. I need to book a weekend close enough to Legoland to satisfy a bribe being cashed in by Kid#1, but near Guildford. Simples. I shall find my perfect cottage in Surrey. Er, no I won’t.
One problem is, regardless of which website you think you are on, soon enough you’ll realise it’s another Hoseasons white label. So, as you fly around the internet typing in ‘family cottages’, ‘unusual properties’, ‘holiday lets’, you still end up looking at the same places.
My search is not helped by my poor geography. I may be able to pinpoint all the states of America, but ask me how Stratford-upon-Avon relates to Bristol and I’m stumped. And so the fun continues as I seek out a pretty three bed, with availability, and a saintly owner who will do me the huge favour of letting us stay less than seven nights. How generous.
Four hours later, I have travelled a virtual world from Godalming to Dunstable, and journeyed past somewhere called Biggleswade. I have stared at dots on Google maps til my eyes bleed. I have considered squeezing us all into a one bedroom flat. I have thought of inviting local millionaires to come with us so we can afford a barn conversion. I have cursed my addiction, thrown the iPad at the cat, and in one moment of extreme desperation, even Googled ‘Landmark Trust’. Don’t be ridiculous, those places DON’T HAVE TELLIES.
The cat, before the RSPCA took her away
Last night I booked my cottage (with the lovely Hoseasons) and I can’t wait. I lost four
days of my life finding it. Two days more than I shall actually spend in it.
I promise to get help. Just as soon as I get back…
Helena Beard is managing director of KBC PR & Marketing, a PR and Representation agency specialising in travel and tourism.
Bev
Editor in chief Bev Fearis has been a travel journalist for 25 years. She started her career at Travel Weekly, where she became deputy news editor, before joining Business Traveller as deputy editor and launching the magazine’s website. She has also written travel features, news and expert comment for the Guardian, Observer, Times, Telegraph, Boundless and other consumer titles and was named one of the top 50 UK travel journalists by the Press Gazette.
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