Never mind my IQ, just look at my charm

by Yeoh Siew Hoon

Apparently first-born children tend to develop higher IQs than their siblings.

Even though the experts say the average difference in IQ is slight – three points higher in the eldest child than in the closest sibling, they say it is significant enough to be a tipping point for some people between admission to an “elite private liberal arts college and a less exclusive public one”.

In the study, the eldest scored an average IQ of 103.2, three percent higher than second children (100.3) and four percent higher than third-borns (99).

Being the youngest child in a family of three, I am having trouble comprehending that.

See, that would give me an IQ of 99, way behind my hero Stephen Hawking’s estimated IQ of 145 although when asked directly the question “What is your IQ” in an interview once, the physicist said, “I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.”

Not being a loser, I have no idea what my IQ is but I know that I have always been intrigued by the debate over what kind of person you will turn out to be depending on what pecking order you are in the family.

See, my brother sailed through school, or at least he gave me – always six years behind him no matter how hard I tried to catch up – the impression of sailing through it. In truth, he probably slogged and crammed his way through exams like most first-born, male, children of a traditional Chinese household had to.

I remember once trying to distract him from his studies by catapulting things in his face and he promptly kicked me from one corner of the room to the other.

Such was the pressure he was under to do well in school, enter university, get a degree, secure a good job, marry, have children and look after the entire family – his and ours included.

I don’t think my parents put the pressure on him – they were too busy trying to feed us. I think he did it to himself. Sometimes, a man forgets he is just a man when he tries to take the whole world on his shoulders.

I wouldn’t have wanted to be in his shoes.

My shoes were much easier to fill. By the time I came along, my parents already had enough practice with kids to leave me alone.

My brother and sister, who came a year ahead of me, had paved the way for me.

I didn’t have to do chores like they did. I mostly played, and mostly on my own. Suffice to say, I played through most of school as well. My report card said, “She has great potential.”

I don’t think I ever lived up to the potential they had in mind for me.

Back to the study which says that adding a young child into a family may actually diminish the family’s overall intellectual environment. My brother would probably agree with that, given as how I would take his physics books and make paper dolls out of them.

But the study also adds that all of us, no matter our place in the birth order, will find a niche in the family.

So while first-borns are usually described as “more disciplined, responsible and high-achieving”, younger siblings – to distinguish themselves – often develop other skills, like social charm, a good curveball, mastery of the electric bass and acting skills.

Yes, you may not be born smart but that doesn’t mean you can’t have the smarts.

JOIN Yeoh Siew Hoon this week at The Transit Café where she meets one of Shanghai’s inconic jazz bands – http://www.thetransitcafe.com/