Pacific Blue has ways of making you disembark

A report in The Age says that a passenger jet from the Virgin Group airline Pacific Blue spent a chaotic 90 minutes parked on the tarmac at Melbourne Airport yesterday as crew members begged, bribed, cajoled and bullied 13 passengers into getting off the plane.

The 737-800 was due to take off for Christchurch at 10am when the crew announced there would be a short delay to sort out a problem.

A few minutes later it emerged that a member of the cabin crew had fallen ill. This meant that there were not enough staff for safety requirements and so 13 unlucky passengers would have to disembark.

The crew called for volunteers to leave the aircraft and suggested that those who had friends or relatives to stay with in Melbourne might like to extend their holiday until the next Christchurch-bound flight, which happened to be on Friday. Alternatively, they could fly to Sydney and then to Brisbane for a flight to New Zealand late yesterday.

If volunteers were not found, then those passengers who had been on standby would be asked to disembark. Several of these unfortunate passengers were rounded up and escorted off the aircraft.

Then came a further announcement that one passenger had not confessed to having been on the standby list and she was warned that “if you’re hiding, we’ll track you down”.

The young lady finally signalled where she was and departed.

The cabin crew then explained that those who volunteered to disembark would receive a credit for travel with the airline equivalent to the value of the flight from which they were being bumped, in addition to being placed on a later flight yesterday or on Friday.

Then things got tough.

The crew announced that once the voluntary phase was completed, the next step was to pick off the passengers who checked in last and disembark them.

The rub was that these passengers would not be given the free flight credit inducement. Those who thought they might have checked in late in the process were urged to volunteer while they had the chance.

“Last chance folks, if you think you are among the last to check in,” said the stern voice in charge.

“In a couple of minutes, anyone who doesn’t volunteer to move will be removed from the aircraft.”

That went down like a lead balloon and crew members began stalking the aisle, list in hand, and informing passengers that they had been on the late end of the check-in process.

One couple explained, in a distressed state, that they were on their way to a wedding and the hunters moved on down the aisle in search of two more passengers to be unloaded.

The pilot announced that if 13 passengers did not disembark, he would have no choice but to leave everybody behind and fly the plane to Christchurch empty.

Then came a fresh assurance that any late volunteers would be eligible for the free flight and negotiations began with yet another couple who liked the idea of that.

They bounded down the gangway to a round of applause from the surviving passengers and the final announcement: “Where’s the wedding party? Your bacon is saved.”

A Report by The Mole from The Age