Singapore lures Ralph Fiennes from Qantas?
A report by Scott Rochfort in Reflux in the Sydney Morning Herald says that Singapore Airlines has attempted to lure Qantas’s unofficial cultural attache, Ralph Fiennes, away from the Flying Kangaroo after taking delivery of its first Airbus A380 superjumbo in Toulouse.
Displaying the lavish interior of its double-decker jet for the first time, Singapore Airlines showed the plane had larger toilets that could accommodate three Ralph Fienneses simultaneously, and……………In first class, the toilets have a leather bench that can be mounted over the toilet bowl to provide extra support.
The dunnies also have a “Hollywood-style” mirror and enhanced lighting.
But the next time Fiennes finds it too bothersome to head to the onboard amenities, he can rest easy, because the new Singapore Airlines A380 has four suites that can be easily converted into two double beds.
When Reflux inquired about the hanky-panky features on the new jet, which even boast more knee room in economy, a Singapore Airlines operative pleaded ignorance.
But the rose petals and champagne bottle that adorned the double-bed suite looked like a not-too-subtle hint of the extra in flight entertainment offered to passengers…….among themselves of course.
Meanwhile, Qantas has already ruled out using double beds.
It is unclear if Singapore Airlines is keen to steal other clientele away from Qantas with its jet that can apparently accommodate 35 million ping-pong balls.
Singapore Airlines’s chief executive, Chew Choon Seng, dubbed the jet the new “queen of the skies”, but the airline has also come out with some rather left-of-centre comparisons to describe the size of the mega-jet.
For instance, two A380 wings can apparently shelter 8400 kiwis, or by Reflux’ calculations, 2800 dejected All Black supporters.
It is unclear if Singapore Airlines could deploy its jets to zoos or wildlife sanctuaries in New Zealand to shelter the more endangered breeds of the flightless bird, such as the Little Spotted Kiwi. It would only take about four A380s to cover the entire population of North Island Brown Kiwis.
Reflux also thought air didn’t weigh much but Singapore Airlines tells us an A380 engine sucks in 1.25 tonnes of air a second.
A Report by The Mole from Reflux in the Sydney Morning Herald
John Alwyn-Jones
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