Tickled pink by a feast of Floyd
Here was my chance. An opportunity to ask Keith Floyd the questions I’d always wanted to ask. Problem was, I had 1,000 questions and only one hit.
Brainwave. “Who’s your favourite other chef? And do you think chefs today are too prissy and too precious about what they do?”
Floyd – he calls himself Floyd because “Keith is such a naff name” – removes his jacket, takes a deep breath, grabs the mike, looks around at the audience, flashes his roguish grin … and declares, “I am a cook. I am not a chef, I am not a prat. I believe in food and television in the UK is manipulating young wannabes to become personalities, not cooks.
“Having said that, I salute Jamie Oliver for improving school dinners, Rick Stein for what he does with fish, Gary Rhodes for showing what British cooking can be and (French celebrity chef) Jean-Christophe Novelli, even though he’s a frog.”
He said that it was very sad that young cooks were getting into the restaurant business not to be cooks but to get into some “X factor TV personality s…”.
I asked what he thought his X factor was. Quoting from the “best rock n’ roll novel ever written (according to website)” – “I Am Still The Greatest, says Johnny Angelo” – Floyd screams, “I’m good ‘cos I’m good.”
What does he think of durians, asked a Singapore man in the audience? “I’m disgusted at the news that this man in Thailand has taken the smell out of durians. I say, let the durian live.”
Asked what food or drink he would like to be remembered by, he challenged the Grand Hyatt. “If you’re a real hotel, after I knock off this gig, bring me caviar and vodka and I will die so very happy.”
He then talks about his heroes – “none of them are cooks, they are all musicians.”
Once in Sydney, he hears a knock on the door and (the late) George Harrison is at the door. “My god, I thought, I am talking to George Harrison. He asked me whether I had tried these vegetarian cakes. I wanted to talk rock n’ roll, not cooking.”
Why does he cook such large quantities? “Because I am a generous guy. I don’t cook for one, I cook for the world.”
What’s your most memorable drink? “This one because it could be my last.”
The next time I meet Floyd, I will ask him if he ever wrote his life story, what would he call the book?
Pink Floyd? Or Pink (and Pickled) Floyd? Whatever the name, I know it will tickle me pink.
Catch more of Yeoh Siew Hoon at her favourite spot, The Transit Cafe – www.thetransitcafe.com
Ian Jarrett
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