Conrad’s secrets unlocked

BANGKOK – The man who met me at the airport was all smiles. For a moment, it brought back a whiff of nostalgia – it’d been sometime since I had seen a wide smile like that at Bangkok airport.

After all, the Thais working in tourism haven’t had a lot to smile about lately – political troubles, plus global problems, have dealt nasty blows to their business.

“There’s reason to smile again,” he said, when I asked him how was his hotel doing. “It’s been bad the past four months but now, it’s looking better.”

“Must be the holidays,” I said.

“Yes, everyone’s happier.” Then he looked around, and whispered, “I hope this Cambodian problem goes away fast.”

Yes, the newspapers are full of the stand-off between Cambodia and Thailand. The flight of former premier Thaksin Shinawatra to Phnom Penh, to be embraced by Cambodian Prime Minister as Hun Sen as “close friend” and “economic advisor”, has strained already strained relations between the two countries and everyone’s hoping it will blow away.

The last thing Thailand needs as it gears up for its high season is another ugly political spat that could spill over and affect its tourism industry.

As my car pulled up by the driveway, the guest relations officer of the Conrad Hotel was waiting for me by the kerb.

What modern communications can do these days. I wonder how in the old days innkeepers were alerted to the impending arrival of guests?

She takes me straight up to my room and apologises for the fact that the hotel is full and thus she could only give me a twin-bedded room.

“It’s okay,” I say, being in a good mood. Even the male attendant on the Thai International flight coming over had been surprisingly ebullient – usually, I find the male crew on TG rather dour and surly.

She goes through the process of explaining the hotel’s services to me and the facilities in the room. Then she hands me my room key. “Please do not lose this key, it will cost you 500 baht,” she says.

I am taken aback. In all my stays in hotels around the world, I’ve never been told that I’d have to pay if I lost the room key.

I recall once in Samui, accidentally leaving for the airport with my room key and my butler had to rush to the airport to get it back from me – in that resort, that key was the one and only for the room.

I looked at the key she had given me. Yes, it’s a fancy-looking leather-encased key but I wonder if the hotel is right to pass on the responsibility to the customer.

After all, I hadn’t asked for an expensive key, so should I be made liable for its loss?

Curious, I asked the male staff who checked me out how many people had one, lost their key and two, actually paid up.

I was told six had lost their key in the three months this new procedure had been introduced. Apparently, each key is unique and so if lost, has to be ordered individually from the factory, I was told.

“Did they pay up?” I pressed. Even at six in the morning, I can be a belligerent pitbull when I wish to be.

“It’s a problem,” he mumbled. “It’s difficult.”

“They don’t want to pay, right?” I asked. He nodded.

“What happens when they don’t pay?” I asked.

The answer: The 500 baht is taken out of the salary of the check-out staff.

I guess this is what is meant by management passing the buck, or rather key, to the staff who then passes it to the customer.

Catch Yeoh Siew Hoon every week at The Transit Cafe.