Sex, murder, crime, complaints – the cruise industry exposed

Sex, murder, crime – a new book exposing the other side of the cruise industry has it all.

The author, David Duncan, was a travel agent for 20 years and spent three months working on a Carnival ship, selling holiday memberships to the passengers onboard.

“I decided to fictionalise the stories to protect the innocent. Most of the stories are true and all the facts are true about crime onboard the ships,” said Duncan. “The Cruise Lines will do anything to protect their billion dollar business and that’s the truth.”

In a new series on TravelMole.com, Duncan shares some of the highlights of the book.

Here, he looks at customer complaints:

“They are too numerous to cover them all. I will tell you that on every ship, every week there are complaints and complainers.

Just the enormity of the Cruise industry, the size of the mega ships, the numbers of people involved in the business, the passengers, the crew, the staff, the officers, the dock workers, the office staff, the corporate headquarters.

Food poisoning, viruses, people missing, thefts. The tons of food and drinks being served, the number of beds being made, mattresses turned, and laundry done. The things that can go wrong are as enormous as the ships themselves. Of course it’s a big industry with tremendous growth so it makes sense they can’t keep up with it.

Here are some examples:
Cabin is too noisy.
Cabin is below the disco and they keep us up all night with the percussion beat.
Cabin is too hot or too cold.
Air conditioning is too noisy or doesn’t work.
Cabin staff are lazy, don’t clean washroom well enough.
Towels are dirty.
Nobody speaks French and we are from Quebec.
Waiter is rude.
Food is cold at dinner time.
White wine is not cold enough.
People are smoking in their cabins.
The washrooms are dirty.
The sheets are dirty.
The crews smell funny. Or they stink.
We are on the wrong ship.
We want our money back because we hate this ship.
I lost money in the casino because they cheat.
The shopper girl sent me to a rip off joint.
The shore excursion guy ripped us off.
The photographer charges too much for pictures.
The photographer took a picture of my family and now he can’t find it.
The shops are priced too high.
Somebody stole my $20,000 Diamond ring.
Somebody stole my necklace from my cabin.
I want a credit for inconvenience.
Our cabin is too small.
This is not the cabin we reserved.
We want a balcony cabin for the same price as an inside cabin.
We want a free cruise because the air conditioning isn’t working.
My daughter is missing.
My son is missing.
My husband is missing.
My wife is missing.
My girlfriend is missing.
My boyfriend is missing.
My mother is missing.
My husband is dead, will I get a refund.
What time is dinner? It’s too late.
When do the stores open up? They are never open.
We missed Mazatlan because of bad weather, so we want a free cruise.
The sea was rough in Cabo San Lucas and made us sick so we want a refund.
We caught a cold from the air conditioning and had to purchase drugs in your store, so we want a refund.

And so it goes on and on. While most passengers are completely happy with their cruise, like I said before there are some serious scammers. The cruise lines deal with this every week but in return for the aggravation they make millions. The purser’s office is good at knowing what is a legitimate complain and what is not and they act accordingly.”

David Duncan’s book, EXPOSED – The Cruise Industry, is published by Barnes and Noble (www.bn.com)