CAPA comes up with the Christmas scoops
The Centre for Asia Pacific Aviation (CAPA) has been having some fun with its list of almost-true Christmas news.
Among the breaking news stories are these:
Emirates is to buy European aircraft manufacturer Airbus. The reason? “We decided that we were spending so much time negotiating with Airbus for aircraft purchases that we could save ourselves a lot of wasted time by simply buying the manufacturer,†said an Emirates spokesman.
Alaskan Airlines has introduced new moose baggage rules on the suggestion of wannabe president, Sarah Palin. Ms Palin’s moose campaign centred on the rights of all Americans to carry hunting rifles to visit Alaska to meet hockey moms and experience “the real Americaâ€. She said: “If visitors want to take home a little memento of their stay, mooses look just great with lipstick on.â€
Fed up with passengers ignoring final calls, Airports Company South Africa (ACSA) has announced plans to replace the traditional three-tone xylophone PA announcement jingle with three blasts from a vuvuzela. An ACSA spokesman stated: “Our office is still awash with those annoying plastic horns from the World Cup – what better way to put them to use and help get the planes away on time.â€
The newly formed British Airways-Iberia group is moving ahead with plans to make Spanglish the airline’s official language. The combined carrier has decided to move on this issue mañana, if not even more pronto.
New group chairman, Antonio Vazquez, was quoted as saying “hasta la vista you good thingâ€, to which CEO Senor Willie Walsh replied “Si, oi’ll have a point of sangria por favor.â€
Finally, in order to embrace social media more actively, Ryanair has announced it will in future only accept service complaints made on Twitter.
CEO Michael O’Leary believes any complaint that takes more than 140 characters to explain must be unfounded and an overreaction.
Mr O’Leary defended his policy, stating “there is no reason why someone should need more than four letters to make themselves clear.â€
Thanks, CAPA.
Ian Jarrett
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