Some key phrases for talking to or even understanding a Kiwi!

New Zealand’s fourth most popular folk parody act, Flight of the Conchords, alias Bret McKenzie & Jemaine Clement, apparently appear on American television on Sunday nights at 10.30pm, but it appears that some viewers were having a hard time understanding what the Kiwi musos and comics were saying.

So, Bret, Jemaine & Rhys thoug they would post some key Kiwi few phrases they might use in the TV series, and what they mean to a Kiwi!

Here you go: –

Fush & chups: Actually they’re saying Fish & Chips, a popular and, generally, very fresh and well cooked meal, bought in takeaways. Burgers are great too, huge with pineapple, beetroot, cheese, tomato, onion, as well as, the actual one you want i.e. Bacon & Egg burger.

Choice, bro!:  A way of saying that something is excellent. ‘Choice’ is a very versatile word in NZ meaning anything from OK, cool, I agree, I understand, it’s been good… to a million other things.

G’day mate: The most common thing you’ll ever hear said in New Zealand and is a friendly ‘Hello’.

Hangi: A traditional Maori meal made by slow baking food, over a day (and drinking lots of beer along the way, in informal gatherings), in pits in the arth and produces a very fresh, moist and tasty style of food (meat & vegetables, often accompanied by Kumara – a sweet potato).

Pakeha: A phrase initially coined by the Maori to descrbe the European settlers and argument continues to this day as to whether the original use was intended to describe them as pale skinned or, frankly, ‘with a skin surprisingly similar to pigs’. In modern times it is a cultural reference to Kiwis of European descent (without the piggy bit).

Chilly bin: An icebox that forms an integral part of any summer holiday, sporting event or student party and is used to keep your beer cool and sit on (practical lot Kiwis).

Jandals: A phrase unique to NZ referring to the beach footware that is like a basic sandal with a thong between the big toe & next, which holds the whole thing together (called ‘flip-flops’ in Australia).

Judder bar: A speed hump in the road i.e. the car ‘judders’ when it goes over one.

Doing the ton: Getting your car to a hunderd miles an hour.

Fanny: Like Britain, referring to the privates of a woman.

Good as Gold or Good on ya mate: General phrases used to express happiness or a confirmation that everything is A’OK!

Hard case: A funny or ironic character. Kiwi’s would describe the Flight of the Conchords are ‘quite hard-cased’ (with the ‘quite’ reflecting Kiwi reticence to go all the way out on a limb).

Knackered, Tit’s up, Sucked a kumara:  3 phrases all roughly meaning that something is not working i.e. “Yeah, the car’s knackered, the whole day has gone completely tit’s up. Man, it sucks a kumara!”.

Thick as shit: Somebody who is pretty stupid.

Pack a wobbly or Crack the shits: As you might imagine, it is to lose your cool or become annoyed.

Root:  As Kiwi’s proudly boast in London bars, they’re quite keen to describe the Kiwi, NZ’s national bird… and themselves, as one who ‘eats roots & leaves’. Although in their case, they are actually talking about having sex.

Report by The Mole!